Liverpool

It’s nice to see that the rumor mill gets one right now and then. Fabio Capello has stated that Steven Gerrard will lead England out as captain for the match against Switzerland.

On behalf of all Reds fans I’d just like to say, “SUCK IT RIO! UP YOURS OWEN!”

The latest disturbing news coming from Anfield is that Rafa Benitez is looking to complete a trade this summer with Manchester City that would send Peter Crouch and bring in Michael Johnson. I would name a source, but I lost the link (worst journalist ever) so we’ll attribute it to the voices in my head.

I’m really hoping that this is just tabloid speculation because it does not make much sense to me. We could definitely use another striker, but not a midfielder. As it is, we have too many. The Sunderland match proved that we could leave someone like Xabi Alonso completely off the roster and be just fine.

Coming to you live from table 24 of my restaurant, here are a few miscellaneous news and rumor items regarding the club.

It’s possible that we’ll be losing Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher for the second leg of the Inter Champions League clash. They are being called to testify in a case involving forged sports memorabilia. Apparently, the courts aren’t part of the Kop.

It’s about time that we finally met expectations. The first half looked like more of the same with few opportunities being created by either team. Martin Skrtel made another start at Anfield and showed some quality defending.

In the second half, the imposters who had been wearing the red shirts for the past few games were shipped out and the real Liverpool squad finally turned up. The tide of the game shifted after a long cross from Jamie Carragher found the head of Peter Crouch. That goal re-energized the team and soon saw Torres make a run to grab a goal of his own.

The official Liverpool FC site posted this letter from Sissoko to the fans.

Dear Liverpool fans,

As soon as I arrived in Liverpool I realised how much this team meant.

Now, after two and a half years I have to say goodbye and I can’t hide the great sorrow I feel in leaving one of the best clubs in Europe.

Liverpool FC as a club, its fans, its coaches and my team-mates have together helped me to become a better player and, above all, a better person.

While watching the latest episode of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America (the real one, not the overproduced flip my restaurant crap that Fox was trying to put out), I suddenly remembered something. “Oh! We have a match Saturday.”

Liverpool beat Sunderland 2-0 earlier this season at the Stadium of Light, which is located one block down from the Fortress of Solitude. So, no problem right?

LIVERPOOL—El Liverpool no las tiene todas consigo. Su artillero estrella Fernando Torres se lesionó y queda descartado por tres semanas, mientras que su centrocampista Xabi Alonso también deberá reposar por sentir dolores en un pie.